


Youtube and Dark Themes

by BlxkeVoid



Series: Sam and Colby Fics [13]
Category: Sam and Colby
Genre: Anxiety, Coma, Death, Depression, Other, Protective Elton Castee, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:49:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25034218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlxkeVoid/pseuds/BlxkeVoid
Summary: TRIGGER WARNING! THIS STORY DEALS WITH VERY DARK THEMES! DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THESE THEMES! PLEASE READ THE TAGS! TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!When a suicide attempt leads Colby to slip into a coma, he dreams of a world where it was Sam, and he wasn't found in time. Within the dream, he deals with coming to terms with his best friend's death.In the real world, Sam is worrying every day that his friend will never wake up. He has to tell the fans, he has to keep strong to help the others keep strong.
Relationships: Colby Brock/Aaron Doh, Colby Brock/Corey Scherer, Colby Brock/Elton Castee, Colby Brock/Jake Webber, Colby Brock/Katrina Stuart, Colby Brock/Sam Golbach, Devyn Lundy/Corey Scherer, Jake Webber/Tarayummy, Sam Golbach/Katrina Stuart
Series: Sam and Colby Fics [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1687621
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Youtube and Dark Themes

**Author's Note:**

> LAST WARNING! THIS STORY CONTAINS VERY DARK THEMES! DO NOT READ IF THIS MAKES YOU UPSET OR UNCOMFORTABLE! AND REMEMBER! YOU ARE NEVER ALONE! REACH OUT TO SOMEONE! ANYONE! PLEASE!
> 
> Also in this story, they all still live in the trap house, and just so he can be there, Jake lives in an apartment with Sam and Colby's help.

\----  
SAM  
\----  
I got back home and the house was oddly quiet, then I remembered Aaron was out with a girl named Doni. Elton and Corey were out of the country filming a TFIL video. Colby was upstairs doing something. Devyn was out with Katrina, Tara, and Jake. I found it odd that Colby wasn't blasting music and playing some game on the huge tv downstairs. I sat my stuff down and decided to go check on him. I headed upstairs and checked his room, but it was empty. I opened the bathroom door, which I was expecting him to slam shut, that maybe he was taking a shit or something, but I found no resistance. I opened the door fully and I screamed. 

Colby was on the ground, he wasn't moving and there was a bottle of pills next to him, some spilling out. I fell to my knees and tried to check his pulse but there wasn't one. I quickly pulled out my phone and called 911. I stumbled through telling them everything through tears. When they arrived they made me step away from him and I quickly ran into his room. I couldn't catch my breath. 

A paramedic came in. She sat me down on the bed and put an oxygen mask on me, "Hey deep breaths. He's got a pulse sweetie, it's just extremely weak. What's his name?"

"C-Cole Br-Brock. But we call him Colby," I said and she nodded. "He's 21. P-Please I can't lose him. He's everything I have."

She nodded quickly, "Honey we've got to get him to the hospital but we need all the room we can get to make sure he survives the trip to the hospital," she explained quickly and I saw them take him out of the bathroom, "We're taking him to the Providence Cedars-Sinai Tarzana Medical Center."

I nodded as she took the mask off, "Please just save him," I said and we followed them to the ambulance. I quickly climbed in, "It's gonna be okay brother, I'm gonna call Kat and meet you there." I was ushered out and went back into the house as they raced away. I ran up to his room where my phone was and called Kat, "Kat, I-I need help getting to the hospital. I can't drive," I said as I started to break down again while searching his room for the note. 

"What? Why? Are you okay!?" she asked quickly. 

"C-Colby tried to kill himself," I said. 

"Oh my god. Okay, I'm on my way," she said, "Deep breaths baby, he'll be okay."

I said bye then hung up. Something was telling me to check his computer. I went over and opened it to find a folded piece of paper. I quickly read it and my heart shattered when I realized why. People were sending him hate. They were calling him fat and ugly and said he should start self-harming. They had said that nobody wanted him around and had sent him some fake screenshots of me saying I didn't want him around, that he knew they were fake but he was still so scared. That his depression came back with a vengeance. That was he was having nightmares every single night of me telling him he didn't want me around. 

I heard the door open but felt like I was frozen. I heard running and felt someone grab me, "C'mon Sam, Kat's waiting in the car," Jake said. 

"I-I can't. H-He's gonna die, he's gonna die!" I yelled and Jake quickly brought me into a hug. 

"He's not gonna die, Sam, he's your best friend, you know he's strong. Everyone knows he's strong," he said and I realized he was crying. "Let's get to the hospital."

I nodded and we raced to the hospital. When we arrived the nurse already knew we were coming for him. We were told he was still being helped and to sit in the waiting room. I heard whispering and turned to see two girls looking at us, crying. I got up and walked over to them, "Sam, are you okay?" she asked. "W-We saw him being wheeled in."

"Come here," I said and they both stood up. I just hugged them and they started crying more. Kat and Jake came over and hugged them too. We all pulled away, "Colby's really hurt, and I'll explain soon. O-Once I know he's gonna be okay."

"W-We heard them say overdose," one of the girls said. 

I looked at Jake who nodded then back at the girls, "Look, please don't say anything, but Colby overdosed on painkillers. H-He lost his battle with depression. But they said he had a pulse, and that he should be okay. Are you two okay though? Why are you in the hospital?"

"We're waiting for our best friend to get out of surgery," she said. "H-Her parents couldn't get out of work but we got permission from our parents to stay," she explained. 

I nodded, "Why don't you come to sit with us?" I said. "What are your names?"

"I'm Faith," the taller girl said. 

"A-And I'm Hope," she said. "Our friend's name is Destiny."

I nodded and we sat down. Maybe two or three hours passed before Hope and Faith were called back. Soon Aaron, Tara, and Devyn arrived. Six hours passed and the doors opened, "Friends of Cole Brock?" she called out and we stood up, "Woah he's got a lot of you," she said with a sad smile then walked over. "I can only let one of you back to see him right now but since there is a lot of you I'll explain here. Cole is a very lucky man, we've done everything we can to get him on the path of recovery, but there was something that we didn't see coming," she said. "Cole must've stopped breathing for a while, and then somehow came back himself as if he wasn't done fighting. We don't know how long he was without oxygen, but it was long enough to cause damage. Cole has slipped into a coma. The doctors do expect him to wake up, but we just don't know when. Which one of you would like to go back?"

I quickly wiped away tears that were falling, "Go Sam," Kat said and everyone nodded. "I'll call Elton and Corey."

I got up and she walked me to a room, "H-How bad is he?" I asked before going in. 

"I will not lie, seeing your best friend in his state will be difficult," she said and I got confused, "I can see it in your eyes how much you care for him. I've been a nurse for forty-five years. I have seen a lot of best friends come and go."

I nodded and walked in. 

\------  
COLBY  
\------  
I walked into the house and it was quiet. Everyone was out doing their own thing, I couldn't remember what everyone was doing. The only one I knew was home was Sam, he had said he wanted to work on editing a video. I walked upstairs and knocked on his door then opened it. I was surprised when I found his room empty. I checked the rest of the house, but he wasn't anywhere. I knew he was home because his car was the only one parked in the driveway. I headed back upstairs and knocked on the bathroom door. I realized I could faintly hear the shower so I shut my eyes and opened the door.

"I'm home, Sam," I said but got no response. I opened one eye then opened both. I looked down and my heart dropped. I dropped to my knees, "S-Sam? Hey, wake up this isn't funny!" I said when I saw the empty bottle of aspirin on the counter. 

I quickly put my ear to his chest and heard nothing. I tried to check for a pulse but there was none. I quickly called 911 and they arrived. I was taken to his room and I was hyperventilating, fighting a panic attack knowing they'd need to know stuff. A paramedic slipped a mask over my face, "Deep breaths honey," she said and I nodded, "I need to know his name and age."

"S-Samuel Golbach. He's 21," I said and she nodded. 

"Okay. Before we transport him we've got to get a pulse back, even a small one. Just stay in here okay?" she said and I nodded. 

She disappeared back into the bathroom and everything seemed to go in slow motion. I didn't know how long passed before I got up and went to the bathroom door, "Time of death, 11:45 pm," one of them said and everything went black. 

I woke up and realized I was in a hospital. Elton was sitting there, "E-Elton? Please just tell me it was just a dream," I said. 

He grabbed my hand, "They tried bud, they really tried. He had been gone for way too long by the time you found him," he said, he was crying. "I'm sorry. H-His parents were called, so were yours."

I broke down and Elton brought me into a hug. I must've cried for an hour or two before my phone started ringing. It was my mom, "Hello?" I said my voice shot. 

"Hi baby, Elton told us you were in the hospital," she said. I could tell she had been crying, "Are you okay?"

"No," I said. "I-I found him mom," I said and heard her let out a shaky breath, "I-I found him dead. I should've been home sooner b-but I was trying to get a girls number."

"Colby you cannot blame this on you," she said. "Elton told us that the doctors said he probably collapsed five hours before you even got home," she explained.

"I wanna come home," I said. 

"Okay. Once you get out ask Elton to help you pack and come with to Kansas. Honestly, ask all of your friends if they'd like to come with you. The garage is still set up as your little hideaway. It's safe enough for them to use," she explained. "His parents want him to be buried back home here."

"Okay," I said and hung up. 

After a while, I was released from the hospital and we headed back to the house. When we got back everyone was there. I saw Kat, Tara, and Jake's car. We walked in and Jake came around the corner and hugged me. We walked to where everyone was sitting and I went directly to Kat and hugged her. I kept repeating I was sorry without thinking, and she just kept telling me it wasn't my fault. But it was my fault. If I hadn't been messing around and trying to get a girls number I might've found him in time to be able to even have a small chance of saving him. 

I pulled away from Kat, "We cleaned up the bathroom," Corey said quietly. "W-We found the note."

"W-What?" I said. "H-He left one?"

Corey nodded, "I don't think you should read it yet, but he was getting a lot of hate, which made his depression come back. He was being told all sorts of things, someone pretended to be you and messaged some fan saying that you hated him and I guess because of his depression he believed it."

Everything came to a stop, "N-no. He died thinking I hated him," I said and I couldn't calm my breathing, "He died thinking I hated him! He's never gonna know how much I fucking need him in my life! He's everything I have!" I yelled. 

"Colby you need to breathe," Elton said. "You're gonna send yourself into a panic attack and collapse again," he said quietly, in a very soft voice, "I have no doubt in my mind that he's here with us right now, and knows you don't hate him."

"I-I need him, Elton," I said, tears going down my face. 

"I know you do bud, I know," he said, "And he's still around, we just can't see him."

\----  
SAM  
\----  


It was the next day and I felt someone shaking my shoulder. I jumped up and saw a nurse standing there, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I brought you some breakfast," she said. "I also brought you a small thing of shampoo and body wash along with a towel so you can shower." I got confused, "I know what it's like to be in your position. My husband fell into a coma after a horrible motorcycle accident. I didn't want to leave but they made me, and I know how helpless that feels," she explained. "I've made sure that they let you stay as much as you can, even if it means sleeping here."

"Thank you," I said. "How is he doing?" 

"His vitals are strong," she said, "But sadly there's still no sign of when he'll wake up," she explained and I nodded slowly. "But he's not done fighting, very early this morning we were able to take out the tube helping him breathe. Watch his chest, his breathing is strong."

I looked at the chest and watched it go up and down, I let out a sigh of relief, "How long was your husband in a coma?" I asked. 

A sad smile appeared on her face, "My husband never left the coma. We had to take him off life support," she explained. "I just realized, this was his room."

"Colby's everything I have here in Los Angeles family-wise. He's been my best friend since our freshman year of high school. We have friends here, yeah, but it's just different from him," I explained and she nodded. 

"I'm sure Eric is watching over him, keeping him safe," she said and her pager went off, "I have to go, but feel free to shower."

She left and I started eating. After I finished eating I took a long shower. I knew I'd have to tell the fans somehow. They've probably noticed that nobody has been active on social media. I sighed and grabbed my phone and started recording, "Um hi guys. This video is gonna short but something has happened with Colby. The night before he attempted suicide. His depression came back due to hate. But he's alive, well sort of. Colby's in a coma. They say he'll wake up, they just don't know when. Until he wakes up, I won't be posting anything major on youtube. I will post small update videos, but that's about it."

I posted it with the title "This Is Serious" and sighed. The door opened an hour later and Kat walked in, "Hi baby," Kat said and hugged me, "How is he doing?"

"The nurse said his vitals are really strong and steady, that he's doing really well," I said. "I, um, let the fans know."

She nodded, "I know. We all watched it at the house. I packed you a small bag with some fresh clothes and things. The nurse let us know you fell asleep here last night and said that you have permission to stay as long as you like whenever you like," she explained and I nodded. "His mom called Elton, his parents are on the way. So is your mom," she said. "Your dad couldn't get out of work."

I nodded, "Thank you," I said and kissed her forehead, "The nurse said this was her husbands room when he was in a coma after an accident, that he's watching over Colby and keeping him safe."

She smiled sadly, "I bet he is," she said. "Do you want me to get your parents from the airport or do you feel up to it?"

I looked at her, "I can't leave him, Kat," I said. 

She kissed my forehead, "I understand completely babe," she said. "I'll go get them. Hey, text the group chat, Elton, Corey, and Jake are really worried about you."

I nodded and she left. I texted the group chat and let them know everything that the nurse had told me. I checked my phone and saw that Colby was trending on twitter already. The hashtag get well soon Colby and we love you Colby was trending as well. Everything was flooded with positivity I started crying. I wiped my tears and made a quick tweet thanking everyone. 

\------  
COLBY  
\------  


I woke up and the house was completely silent. There was no Sam to wake me up by pranking me. No Sam to make sure I wasn't sleeping all day due to depression. No Sam to force me to get out of bed so we can go do something. There was no more Sam, but there was a slight knock on my door. 

The door opened and Elton walked in, "Hey Colbs? Our flight is in a few hours we should start getting ready to go," he explained and walked over, "C'mon kid," he said and helped me up. "Have you packed yet?" he asked and I shook my head. "Hey that's okay, we have time."

He pulled out my suitcase for me and we slowly started packing, "Where's Kat?" I asked. 

"She's in his room. As soon as Tara, Jake, and she got here she went to sleep. She said to not wake her up until it was time to leave," he explained and I nodded. "Go, I can finish packing for you," he said. 

I got up and went across the hall. I froze at his door then walked in, "Kat?" I said and gently shook her, "It's almost time to go."

She woke up, I saw tears going down her face, "H-He was in my dream," she said and I used my sleeve to wipe her tears. 

"I know. He was in mine too," I said and helped her off the bed, "We gotta get going."

She nodded and we headed downstairs. Tara handed us plates with some pancakes on it, "You two need to eat," she said and we nodded. 

I went to go eat but my stomach turned and I ran to the bathroom. I threw up and Jake handed me a cup of cold water, "I-I'm sorry," I said and he rubbed my back and I started crying, "I'm sorry."

He shook his head, "It's okay," he said and helped me up. 

Kat couldn't eat either so we left without eating. When we arrived in Kansas we headed to my place but then split with Jake and Tara so they could go to his parent's house. When we got to my house my mom and dad were already waiting outside. I walked over and they hugged me, "His parents are here," mom said quietly. "They really wanted to see you. We'll help everyone get their stuff into the garage okay?"

I nodded and walked inside, "Hi," I said my voice shot. Without saying anything they took me into hugs, "I'm sorry. I-I should've noticed something was wrong with him!" he said.

"Colby no, this isn't your fault," his mom said and rubbed my back, "Sam was always scarily good at hiding when he was depressed."

"I should've been home sooner," I said. 

She pulled away and wiped my tears away, which were quickly replaced with more, "Colby, listen to me, we were told what the doctors said. W-We know and we understand there was more than likely no saving him, even if you had gotten home quicker honey."

I nodded, "I-I need to tell the fans," I said quietly, "But I didn't want to do it without your blessing."

"Colby, the fans are a part of these families as well. Tell them," his dad said and I nodded. 

I headed upstairs to my room and propped up the camera then pressed record, "Um hi guys. I-I don't know how to tell you this," I said and started crying again, "Some of you might already know, b-but Sam passed away two nights ago now. He lost his battle with depression," I stated and took a shaky breath, "Everyone is here with me in Kansas, he is to be buried here at home. I-I'm sorry guys. I don't know what's going to happen to the channel, I need time. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," I said and ended the recording. I posted it and laid down, falling asleep almost instantly. 

I woke up a few hours later and I could hear everyone downstairs. I headed downstairs and someone handed me a cup of water, "You need to keep drinking. You'll end up dehydrated if you don't," Aaron said quietly. "Um, can we go outside and talk?" he asked and I nodded. We stepped outside, "Before we met, I lost a friend to suicide, I was the one who found him. His time of death was mere minutes before I got home. He had used a gun," he said and I saw tears falling, "I was late to his place cause I was messing around with my ex-girlfriend at the time. I constantly blamed myself," he admitted, "Sometimes I still do. But I realized something, even if I had saved him that day, he would've tried again, and again, and again until he succeeded. Something's telling me that's how it would've gone with Sam. So please, I am begging you Colby, do not blame yourself for what happened."

\----  
SAM  
\----  


I had finally gone home. His parents were staying at the hospital, my mom had come home with me. I took another nice, long shower and my mom made everyone some food. I was sitting outside and she came out as well, "How are you holding up sweetie?" she asked. 

"I'm scared," I admitted, "Maybe they're wrong and he won't actually wake up."

"Sam," she said and I looked at her, "He will wake up. He's a strong person. Everyone has their weak moments, and sadly whoever sent him those messages caught him at a weak moment and it dragged him down," she explained. 

"I-I don't want to have to bury my best friend," I said and she put her hand against my cheek. 

"You get rid of that thought right now because you are not going to have to bury your best friend," she said and I nodded. "Colby's going to need a lot of help when he wakes up. He's going to need you."

I nodded, "I know," I said. "It's just, whenever I sleep, I have nightmares of him dying. Or him saying I failed him, that I should've found him sooner."

She sighed, "It's normal to have nightmares while dealing with something traumatic, but guess what Sammy? You're just as strong as Colby. You two give each other strength like none other. We all see it," she said. 

I nodded and we hugged. I went back inside and laid down. A couple of days passed and there was still no change. I had gotten permission from his parents to post a picture of him on social media. A lot of people were constantly posting about how they hope he wakes up soon and has a speedy recovery and how they'll be waiting for us as long as it takes. I had been basically kicked out by his parents after spending two days in the hospital without leaving, they said I needed to home and get rest. I knew I wasn't going to be able to win in an argument against them so I did. 

I was laying on my bed trying to sleep when my phone rang, "Hello?" I said. 

"Sam you need to get down to the hospital, Colby's awake," his mom said. 

"I'm on my way," I said and got out of bed. 

I slipped on my shoes and ran to my car. As soon as I got there I just went straight back and his parents were outside the room, "They're taking out all the tubes that were helping him survive the coma," his dad said and I nodded. "He's okay."

The doctor came out a few minutes later, "You can all go him, but speak one at a time, don't overwhelm him alright?" he said and we all nodded. 

We walked in and Colby was laying there, "Hi baby," his mom said and took his hand. 

I was hanging by the door, "Where's Sam?" he asked, his voice so quiet it was practically gone. 

"I'm right here," I said and walked over, taking his free hand. He tried to sit up to hug me and I laid him back down, "You need to take it easy Colbs. You just woke up from a coma."

He nodded slowly, but he seemed confused. I didn't question it since he had just woken up from a coma. A week passed and the doctors released him with strict bed rest orders. They said to keep a close eye on him, but that he wouldn't need any physical therapy since he hadn't truly lost any of his bodily functions or senses. He had to go to see a therapist for as long as he needed to until the therapist deemed him fit to go without it again. We got home and I got him to bed. Our parents couldn't stay any longer and I promised his parents I'd update them every single day. I walked out of the bathroom after I showered when I heard crying. I went into Colby's room and saw him sitting up. I asked him what was wrong but he didn't say anything, just made the motion that he needed a hug. I gave him a hug and then pulled away. 

"Please don't leave me," he said and I nodded.

I climbed into bed and we both fell asleep. I woke up before him and headed downstairs to get some breakfast for him ready when I heard him yelling out my name in a very panicked tone. I ran back upstairs, "Hey what's wrong?" I asked. 

"I-I thought I lost you again," he said. 

"Lost me again? What do you mean?" I asked. 

"That you killed yourself again," he said and I got really confused.

I sat on his bed, "Colby I never killed myself or even attempted. You had attempted to remember?" I said and he nodded, "Colbs, what happened to you while you were in that coma?"

"I-I think I had a dream that entire time, that I guess I keep mixing up with real life," he said quietly, "Y-You had killed yourself and I was too late to save you," he said. "It was so bad Sam."

I brought him into a hug, "I will never ever do that to you. And I will forever help you to make sure you never feel like that is your only escape again," I said. "You're everything I have Colby. Always."

**Author's Note:**

> If you ever feel like you want to end your life, please call the suicide hotline number. I know life can be hard, I know life can seem meaningless. But trust me it has so much meaning. 
> 
> You mean so much to this world. You have to find your soulmate, their waiting for you. Your friends will miss you. A lot of people will miss you. 
> 
> We may not know each other, I may not even know your name. But you are strong. You are capable of defeating these demons. I will miss you. Everyone has a place in this world. 
> 
> And even though we may not know each other, I love you. Sam and Colby love you. Katrina, Tara, Jake, Elton, Corey, Aaron, Kevin, Aryia, Cassie, Reggie, they all love you too. It doesn't matter if we don't know you. 
> 
> -Blake.


End file.
